Eating out Downtown

We have family in town and getting out of the house despite the 36 degree weather!

Because the Days are Getting Hard(er)

I wish I could post things to this blog, multiple times a day, every few hours or so with flowers and sunshine and rainbows and candy, but the truth of the matter is that some days (well most days, actually) are very hard. As mom likes to eloquently say it, "This sucks, this sucks, this sucks!" 

Perspective is a thing that can either become very colorful during this part of someone's journey, or so grey and bleak that you start to think that you really don't give a shit about anything else going on around you because you have developed this tunnel vision focusing on the pain and wondering when it will all be over. Maybe perspective is meant to be mixed with color and grey, just like you can't have any light without dark.

Observing this transition, physically, is something I cannot in simple words describe. For Joy, aka mom, this has been a great adjustment. She once led a *very* active lifestyle, always the first one up in the house making breakfast, going to work, coming home and exercising, traveling, shopping, etc. Even while she was on chemo she was pretty active and it kept her going. Most of my life has been spent trying to keep up with her, to match her stamina and energy in all that she does and all that she pushes me to do...

As I said before, the days are hard and are getting harder. I know she is not only feeling pain, but also feeling frustrated wanting the nightmare in her abdomen and back to go away, and how she misses eating more than a few bites of solid food. It's almost like a psychological deadlock and she wants to feel herself again. How do you move forward and onward feeling this way? Well, in previous posts I have stated how thankful we are for the support she is receiving from family, friends, and even strangers. We cannot get by without you. Your well-wishes, visits, flowers, cards, love, laughter, and soups have been invaluable and it yanks us from our tunnel vision. It's a reminder that light doesn't just appear at the end of the tunnel, it's everywhere. 

Even Winnie the Pooh has bad days, but after the right formula of support things can get better, or easier, or both.

Respect for the Morning Routine

Although this photo was taken about a week ago, just wanted everyone to have awareness of my respect for mom's usual breakfast "enhancements" these days (outcome of our visit with the holistic doctor)...needless to say, she was only slightly amused by the ritualistic handoff I was trying to portray. So proud of her for being tough and powering through!

Tokie (TOE-Key)

We have been laying low these last few days so that mom can rest, so decided to put up a recent picture of mom and I here at the Miami Seaquarium feeding Lolita the Killer Whale...ok, so maybe it's 28-years old recent, but you get the point. When we met Lolita, we were told that, to the trainers, she is really known as Tokie. This is one of my most treasured memories with my mom and dad. The album where this picture is originally from is something that always brings a smile to my face when I am looking through it...as with countless other memories I have growing up, and our adventures together.



Walkin'

Enjoyed the lovely weather today!

Circulation

Decided to give mom a foot and leg massage today, and yes, at the dinner table. Massages promote good circulation of your blood, and good circulation promotes healthy digestion, helps nausea, and can lower your blood pressure!

It's really hard to gauge things with mom, sometimes. I know and see that she is having a lot of pain, especially in her lower abdomen (feeling full all the time, organs trying to keep up, etc.)....but I say it's hard to measure "where we are" with everything because of her unwavering, positive attitude and cheerful demeanor. She is one of few people I know who have won the cortical lottery, like a serotonin unicorn. Brain functions and happiness chemicals aside, maintaining a positive outlook does take discipline, training, and effort, especially when you have endured a lot of ups and downs in life.

I'm very proud of her and how she carries herself through this chapter. I love my mother to no end, she is the voice in my head, my role model, and my hero...if I could wave a wand and have my way, there is a lot in this picture I would change. Hope is something we do not give up on here, there is always hope. 

Ringo Lap Time

Mom and Ringo (our wonderful neighbor's labradoodle) are having some cuddle time! Tomorrow, I promise a more official update, but this was too cute not to share...

Support

When mom and Bob looked outside their front door this morning, they saw get well cards from some of the neighbors as well as homemade cards from their kids. Flowers also arrived today from other caring friends. Mom and Bob are so thankful for all of the kind and thoughtful gestures (whether it's cards, flowers, messages, or visits) of our family, friends, and neighbors...they truly value of your support, and it's fuel for motivation and positivity! Our continued thanks, I know first-hand it is making a difference.

Karaoke Night

Mom and Ray are singing a Filipino Classic...warming up as we proceed to butcher songs for the rest of the night.

Staying In From the Cold

With Steph, Ray, and Heidi in town, we decided to cook brunch, then bundle up and watch a movie. After our lazy afternoon we entertained mom with a 'home Pilates competition' seeing who could plank the longest, do handstands, and push up handstands... no pictures of those are up because quite frankly, we are professionals and don't want to advertise our muscles and mad skills.

French Toast Brunch

Sunday brunch is best when you are having bananas foster French toast, flippin good!

Valentine's Day and Bansky and Up

Inspired by the movie 'Up' and the street artist Bansky ("there is always hope")... Happy Valentine's Day, Mom.

Waffle Saturday!

Protein power cakes, go mom!

Pre-VDay Operation

Mom doesn't know yet.

A Holistic Approach and 50 Shades of Grey

I flew in from DC yesterday afternoon, and temporarily left my very busy work and my very busy schedule to spend some time with my mom, Joy, and my step-dad, Bob. I am not complaining. I love my work, a characteristic I share with my mother who was always a hard worker, brilliant, and responsible. There is so much about her I admire, but can get into more of that later.

Today we went to see a well-known holistic doctor in downtown Austin. He's an MD but specializes in holistic and alternative medicine. During the consultation, I was very impressed with how well-versed he was in traditional 'western' medicine as he was with the natural approach. Mom was able to cover her journey in about 15 minutes (she's become a pro at summarizing her 24+ cycles, three regiments, numerous cat scans and lab tests, and clinical trials), and he spent the other 45 discussing our options. What I liked the most, and so did mom, was his directness to the point that there isn't much we can do to kill the big C, but there is much we can do to ensure that she can be comfortable, maintain her energy, and most of all: maintain her appetite.

After the appointment, we grabbed lunch at a neighborhood farm-to-table. She was able to eat more than four bites of food, and I considered that a huge triumph of the day! We are on our way out to the Alamo Draft House to watch 50 Shades of Grey....if mom is eating and wants to watch a movie with her daughter (even though it's the most awkward movie to watch with your mother, ever), it's a pretty good day.