I miss you, mom.
Feels a bit cliche to write or say something like, "I can't believe a year has already gone by since she left...," because the truth is that I have personally felt all 366 days between April 22, 2015 and April 22, 2016. It's not those days of missing her, of wanting to call to hear her voice, to ask her opinion on something, or those days of missing her cheerfulness, smiles, hugs and kisses that I want to talk about. Those days will continue as time pushes forward, and I must accept each one.
Having difficulty finding the right words to say the rest. For some who were not able to attend mom's service in Austin or Miami, below was the first draft of the eulogy I gave. The final product was a printed version with a lot of notes and edits on the margins. Please forgive any errors, I typed it the way I would say it.
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Good morning everyone...family and friends...thank you for being here.
Our family is amazed and honored at the outpour of prayers, well-wishes, and support from all of you here in Austin as well as mom's family and friends abroad who could not be here today.
After reading all the messages that followed the announcement of her passing, there were many words to describe her that echo how I think we all feel when with think of Joy:
Genuine,
Kind,
Intelligent,
Positive,
Strong,
Wise,
and
Beautiful
It's safe to declare that Joy won the cortical lottery when she came into this world, naturally knowing how to see the best in every situation or dilemma; and how to be a light in times where night seems never-ending. At a doctor's appointment Bob and I attended with her in February, she told the doctor that she had *never* been depressed. Ever.
I think this is one of the main reasons why we all gravitate to Joy. She always held a glow that we are drawn to, knowing that a brief encounter, visit, or a phone call with her would leave us with feeling a little better that day.
Joy was born and raised in the Philippines, the eldest of five children. She was devoted to her family and dedicated to her studies and the pursuit of excellence. She held the discipline to balance her responsibilities while making time to develop lasting friendships from elementary school through college. Today, many of those friends spread who are now spread across the globe are all also honoring Joy.
I am a proud niece and daughter of aunts, an uncle, and of course my mother who grew up to pursue successful careers in engineering, business, law and nursing despite the financial challenges the family faced. Mom was always grateful to my grandparents, Poppa and Momma, for working hard so that their children could achieve their dreams. This example my grandparents set was also one that my mother set for me...working very hard to guarantee I had what I needed for my education, teaching me first-hand that things do not come from nothing, and when I apply myself the possibilities of personal achievement are endless.
Joy was not just a wonderful mother to me, but a mother...and mentor...to many. She did things such as taking in young nurses who, like her, emigrated from the Philippines, to start a life here in the United States...many of which were working to support their families at home. She had the special gift of knowing how to really listen to people, and taking the time to understand them. Her thoughtfulness, generosity, and compassion have created a domino effect...she inspires us to be better...to do the right thing with integrity and grace. I am going to miss all the lessons she had yet to teach me.
A short while ago, Bob wrote a letter and read it to Joy. I would like to share a part of it:
"For all of my years here on earth, I have encountered many, many people in social, professional and spiritual settings. However, no one has had the impact on my life that you have. When you are here, I know that I am in the presence of one of God’s true gifts. I will never be able to express how much of a difference you have made in my life and how much better off I will always be because of you. I will always love you, I miss you."
The night is always darkest before the dawn, and now... the dawn is here...with mom having a very well-deserved front row seat to the sunrise. Although we may not be able to see her smiling face, feel the warmth of her hugs, or hear her cheerful voice, I know she is still with us.
Mom...thank you for everything. Thank you for the sacrifices you made for us, they were worth it. I am so proud to be your daughter, and I love you. [As you were there to see me when I opened my eyes for the very first time, it was my honor to be there when your eyes closed for the very last] I miss you very much, and I know you will still be here to listen when I need to talk. I know you will always be with me, and I, with you.
